


Something I Can Never Have

by e_hunterjumper



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Begging, Blowjobs, Deepthroat, Dirty Talk, Dom!Kylo, F/M, Knives, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Lots of Sex, Name Calling, Sometimes Sad, bdsm practiced horribly, gagging, general nastiness, reader is also a little manipulative, reader is kinda cheeky, sometimes fun, spit, we're all having a good time tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9377171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_hunterjumper/pseuds/e_hunterjumper
Summary: The reader is a cute lieutenant on Starkiller who caught the eye of Kylo because he was unable to read her mind. Mostly porn, a little plot.





	

“Are you gonna spank me again tonight?”

Kylo freezes at your question. It's not very often he's caught off guard, he definitely wasn’t expecting you to say that to him. The two of you had never spoken about the things you did outside of the bedroom before, even if nobody was around to hear it. You smile and bite your lip to try to keep from laughing out loud at what his expression must look like under his mask. It's dangerous, but you like seeing what you can get away with.

“Come on, there’s no one around, Kylo.”

It’s one thing to be good at pushing people’s buttons, but to also enjoy it is probably what got you to your current position in The First Order. As a Lieutenant from a poor background whose ultimate goal was to have Hux’s job, you were unusual because nepotism was alive and well within The First Order ranks. A lot of people have their position not because of their merits but because of who their parents are. It was infuriating, so much so that at one point you considered quitting. You had no choice but to learn to harness the anger and direct it toward your job performance.

Kylo straightens his posture, composes himself. He isn't used to this kind of interaction, but you know he likes it. You’re not force sensitive (sometimes you wish you were), but you’ve always been good at reading people. Still, Kylo is a bit like a wild animal and you never know how he's going to react, he might choke you or he might go along with it.

He hesitates a for a few seconds before answering you, but those seconds feel like hours. Your anxiety level is rising the longer time goes on, especially as he raises his hand to your hair. Kylo strokes it gently, wrapping one of the curls around his finger. He’s always loved your hair, at his request you almost always wear it down.

"You're not going to like what I’m going to do to you tonight.”

"Good,” You say breathlessly, unable to stop the bright smile from spreading across your face.

"Come to my room at 19 hours. Don't be late, and wear your hair down.” Kylo says briskly and stomps away, probably off to make some poor employee's day suck.

“Yes, sir,” you say in a sarcastic tone as he leaves. If he hears you, he doesn’t react.

You continue walking toward where you were headed, your heels making clicking noise that was echoed off the walls of one of the many hallways on the base. Something about that sound always made you feel like a badass even though you were only carrying paperwork for the Colonel.

———

At exactly 19 hours, you press your hand on the screen just to the right of his door. Once, you learned the hard way once that Kylo is really serious about punctuality.

The scanner confirms your handprint and the doors open with a mechanical hiss. When anyone first walks into Kylo’s quarters, you’re let into a central hall which connects four rooms. You step into the living room off to the right, wondering if he’s in there. It’s absolutely filthy in here, you don’t know how any one person could possibly have this much junk. He doesn’t allow any droids in it, evident by all the piles of old clothes, socks, papers, books, various mechanical bits and bobs, etc. Why would anyone have old clothes in their living room?

You were about to start picking them up when he appeared in the doorway, wearing pajamas consisting of a gray t-shirt and black, comfy looking trousers. He looked sexy with his hair all tousled, but he also looked extremely pissed off. You briefly wonder what happened between now and when you last saw him in the hallway.

“Get on all fours,” he says with quiet authority, a dangerous edge to his voice. You obey him, but it’s not fast enough for his liking.

“Now!” The harshness of his voice makes you flench, but you throw yourself down on your hands and knees. Your knees protest against the hard, cold floor. Your eyes are cast downward, not because he has commanded it but because looking at him is like staring into the sun. Any sass you had is gone, replaced with a prickly, excited yet fearful feeling.

“Still so shy,” he comments in a soft voice, a stark contrast to the tone he’d just used. Slowly, he walks toward you, dark eyes locked on the back of your downturned head. He cups your chin with surprising tenderness and lifts it so your gaze meets his. Goosebumps rise up on your skin immediately.

“What are you thinking?” He asks, his brown eyes locked intensely with yours. The frustration in his eyes is evident, he’s always frustrated that he can’t hear your thoughts.

“I’m thinking of how to make you happy, how to please you.” That was only half true. The phrase sounded sexier than it actually was, but you learned that when Kylo heard you say it, it really turned him on.

“Are you?”

“Yes, sir. I’ll give you anything you want.”

“What if I want to break you?” His hand slides down to your throat and wraps around it. He doesn’t squeeze hard, just holds it there possessively.

“Break me, then,” you say, your eyes still locked with his. You say it, but you are slightly scared. Kylo has never said he wouldn’t hurt you and enjoy doing it.

“Crawl to my bed.”

As you crawl from the living room to the foot of his bed, he hovers over you. When you start to climb on the bed from the floor, he grabs you by the waist and tosses you up. Then, he roughly positions you so that you’re laying down on your back and your head is hanging off the edge of the bed. You clench in anticipation; you know what’s coming.

Kylo releases his cock, the tip glistening in the low light with his pre cum. You’ve taken it many times before, but the size of it is always a bit intimidating. It was at least nine inches and _very_ thick.

“Open your mouth.”

A wave of heat rushes down low to your belly and you form a big ‘o’ with your mouth. He thrusts his cock in immediately, repeatedly teasing the back of your throat. When you first started giving him head, you had been unable to take him all the way. He was simply too big, but after a lot of practice, you were able to everything and hold it. Experienced as you were, you still had moments where you gagged around him. Both of you loved those moments.

Kylo slides all the way down your throat and bottoms out, his balls resting on your forehead. He lets out a contented sigh, as if he’s just sat down after a long day of work. He holds your head there, not allowing you to move your head to breathe. Panic starts to set in, tears prick your eyes and you lose control over your gag reflex as a result. You claw at his thighs and gag around his length, squirming in desperation.

Finally, Kylo slides out and you take in a huge gulp of air. You cough up thick spit in between your gasps for air and let it roll down your face into your hair. He smirks and slaps his cock against your lips before plunging it back in your throat. He sets up a brutal pace this time, one of his hands cradling the back of your throat to give him some leverage.

You lay there passively and let him use you. There are more tears streaming down your face now, a natural response to having your throat thoroughly fucked. You gag hard around him again and he pulls out, letting you cough up more spit into your hair and onto the floor. He gives you a moment of respite and then he’s sliding his dick back in you again.

“Don’t ruin that fucking carpet, slut!” He hisses through gritted teeth.

You hum weakly around his cock in answer, not sure what you would’ve said even if you could talk. He picks up the pace once more, ramming your throat with abandon. Your jaw aches from being open so wide for so long, and your throat feels raw. There’s a thick layer of drool on his cock, your face, and the floor beneath you. You know you look a mess, but Kylo once told you it’s when you look the most beautiful.

His breathing is getting heavier, and he’s starting to let little grunts and groans slip from his lips. You can feel him tightening and firming in your mouth and you smile around his cock as you realize he’s going to cum soon.

“Swallow all my cum, you whore!” Kylo growls quietly and grabs the back of your head again. He forces you all the way down, stilling his hips when he finally does cum. He lets out a low growl as he does, pumping his hips a couple of times before he pulls out of you completely, panting.

Slowly, you sit up and wipe your mouth as best as you can. There’s so much drool, though, that it really just feels like you’re making it worse. You give up and just grab the corner of the duvet, wiping your face on it unceremoniously. Your shirt is covered in drool, as well, so you take it off and leave it at the foot of the bed. Kylo’s gone to do something, probably clean his dick off, so you settle on his pillows with your eyes closed, not opening them again until you hear his footsteps come to the bedside.

When you reopen them, a shiny knife is staring you in the face.

**Author's Note:**

> Nine Inch Nails always gets me in the Kylo Ren Headspace™ I hope you guys enjoy!


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